Our Remains

I’m looking out on our remains
In lonely dust
Inside four walls that, broken, lay
In severed rooms
Without the noise of past refrains

That witness, still within my heart
Kept in silence to itself
To see to all the glowing cuts
And tend to tears too proud to shed
When symmetry of ideal words
Proved but merciless instead

Beloved


Let the rain not keep you from dreaming
Let the clouds not keep you from love
I can’t describe the way I’m feeling
Because I know words will never be enough

So, all around me there’s but silence
My stubborn caution already chilled the air
And I’m hoping that you won’t test the water
Because my life would run aground without you there

So, hold me in your arms
When you close your eyes
And try to understand
Without asking why
That everyone must fall
When their name is called
I used to be so strong
But you made me weaker (than I was before)

The words you carry are your arsenal
Ready to be launched at your command
Intricate weapons of deceptive charm
You browse before you choose to harm

You arm yourself with harsh-forged wit
Once prepared in the coldest fire
A dominant force of ancient kind
You exhume long before you find

Yet if you’d ask anyone you know
They would but dare to smile
And turn their eyes away from you
In a scared attempt of their denial

Untouched


Whose face is it that turned to grey
At the sound of those beautiful words?
Whose eyes were it that wept at the thought
Of a collection of lonely nights?
And so many still ahead
Where the stars that shine may find comfort in the moon’s presence
Yet a heart glowing with passion lies in a silent room
Counting the minutes that slowly pass by
Without ever feeling
Without ever loving
A dusk, never-ending, that dreams of dawn
Bleeding all its colours into one

HAPPILY NEW YEAR AFTER

It’s a new year. A new chance. An empty slate for all of us. Or so we choose to believe. The first day of the year comes, and we seem relieved. But why? Aren’t we just fooling ourselves? Aren’t we too old for fairy tales? And isn’t our tradition of a new year’s resolution just that? A happily ever after we promise ourselves in the future. A fable, for it hardly ever comes true. If we just do this or that it will be all within our grasp. Just quit smoking, stop cursing, start dieting and try to fall in love – and your problems will soon be over. They will solve themselves. Or at least that’s what it feels like.

Because men respond well to limits and boundaries. And best of all yet to a looming dead-line. Like just another day in the office. Only in this case the boss is invisible; our responsibility. And so some will deliver better work than others, depending on how much they can keep themselves in check. How badly they can print the resolutions inside of their brains, repeating the rules over and over again.

But did you mess up? Did you let yourself go? Don’t fuss, no panic necessary; a new year will come and then you may redeem yourself. Or reinvent yourself. Yes, a new year – a new me. And a new you. A fresh start and a clean conscience. Ah, a thought worthy of a toast! Raise or lower the bar how you see fit. Or keep it where it is if you need a little more room to breathe. You know you won’t let go entirely of the promises you kept to yourself. It gives us a sense of direction and purpose. As if we were, literally, moving along a road through our life. Discovering a new route every year. Reaching new destinations, leaving others far behind.

And maybe that’s the reason we tend to celebrate so uncontrollably. As if the fireworks could chase our demons and erase the mistakes from our past. With every bang a tear would disappear. With every glorious explosion of colour, a fear would be numbed. With every falling sparkle a regret would be forgotten. Surely, we would need more ammunition to do that.

But how do fairy tales end? With a smile and a dance. Music that fills up the sky and the sweet scent of hope. No cynicism in sight, even when glancing over at the sinners. It seems something as fragile and optimistic as a new chance and a new life is appealing to everyone. Because, when it comes down to it, who doesn’t want to believe? Although we might not get what we wanted – or planned… for a brief moment we sit there and dream, enjoying the magic of fireworks and the idea of our own newborn potential.