# 24 The Weight of the World

In her eyes the world is spinning

And she’s beginning to fall apart

Every hour it is raining

And the pain has finally reached her heart

Sepia smiles, framed and followed

Now they’re hollow and untrue

Every minute she is trying

She won’t resign all the love she knew

And she feels so guilty to carry on

Although she has felt the best of the worst and died with you

And she feels so guilty to carry on

Although she carries the weight of the world on her shoulder...

In her dreams voices are stirring

Memories blurring into grey

Every morning the sun grows shyer

And inside her the shadows stay

In her mind all words unspoken

Have awoken her oldest fears

Every second she is fighting

Until she can no longer hide her tears

She feels so guilty to carry on

Although she has felt the best of the worst and died with you

And she feels so guilty to carry on

Although she carries the weight of the world on her shoulder...

Because in her eyes the world is spinning...

And she’s beginning to fall apart…

© Kirstin Linnenkoper 2007 - the true Fairy of Forget-me-nots

# 23 Christmas Echoes

When the world outside seems frozen
When the night grows longer yet
When lakes and mountains whisper
And there’s a dark song inside your head
When the moon seems to have captured
All that you hold dear
Please know that there’s a lesson
To bestow upon your fear..

# 22 It's the fear...

Walking a road that’s made of countless rainbows

I hear your voice inside my head

Although I’ve told myself my heart will grow back

Fear remains to be my current companion

And if I may gain time or if I may dream away

The wind in the trees calls your name

Strings tormenting my soul wherever I go

Their song sounds so painful and dead

Greeting the day, charged by our holy sun

I feel your shadow by my side

Although I’ve stayed clear of risks, the doubts will echo on

Staining the outline of another newborn day...

# 21 The Wind Will Take Me Home

Like the wind you are, and I am north -

Unchanged my airial conflicts.

For those weak of heart, those lacking roots;

Praised be the stones, their pillars of faith.

In them they find a stable stage, one with a roof to shield them.

Yet unshaken to the naked eye, false hope is within my sight.

No memories of empty ideals will pour itsself - without excuse - into my soul!

Surely, I will not - and could never - be a willing victim, floating underneath a roof of glass;

Like a window to the world inside - exposing the true meaning of life...

See, I may be tied neatly to our earth, but mistake not where my loyalties lie.

For it is not the soil's own element that has me bound.

No, my mind is a wider landscape than that - and therefore will never be caught or lead me to the eye of the storm


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

# 20 Love's Best

Serenely swept, secretly kept.

Inside my heart - where you live.

Honoured and primed,

Your love refined -

A fuel for thoughts of atonemential gift...

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

# 19 Truth be told...

The voices inside my mind blind me...

Though one needs no eyes to measure our pain.

Well then, allow yourself to become emotion.

And let your inner eye look out to seek the world
and announce yourself!

For the world, in turn, is just as blind as us - crying tears of sorrow with eyes dried in shame...

Hungry for love with all the her heart, or all the pieces that remained...

So we should love; with truth, with passion; without doubt and without fear

For if we don't speak truth and simply cover our hearts with the veil of 'what may be'

We will have failed not just completely - but burden ourselves by knowing that, in fact, our souls were just an empty vessel...


>>>>>

# 18 Ode to Autumn

The autumn trees, I pity them.

Although their leaves are inflamed by a deep strawberry red - an olive green
or.. a sunset gold; cherished they are not!

But trampled underneath our clumsy feet..

For fools we are - who do not see true beauty.

Clinging to dull passion, we despise the wind that sweeps away the green.

Join me then, as a rebel of the early morning shade - where the whole world
will look the same...

And let it not be our time that's wasted! No, let it be them who squander their view
and misinterpret nature's intentions!

We will praise all the colours in the sky - why then won't we, just as eagerly,
embrace the dance of seasons?

Maybe this root of vanity is reason enough for calling upon self-reflection.

Because the leaves will fall - regardless of our affection

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

# 17 Vision of Love

Her hair was wet from rain

And tiny drops, like pearls, were gazing upon her skin

Her eyes were closed, then - dreaming, she looked down

Gentle hints of green and gold;

Like sunlight cast on shimmering waves

Came as a silent warning

Her eyes, truthfully, were as fierce as emeralds

Neatly yet passionately cut from the stone...

And her lips... were those of pleasant shade

That dare make many roses blush

Her face was framed by lush-like curls

That dangled in a subtle brown

But no newborn Goddess could compare

Because, most importantly,

It was her inner light that captured my heart

Because beside her elegance, she was wiser than she was fair...


© Kirstin Linnenkoper 13 november 2007

# 16 Ein Mal im Nacht/Als ich nicht schlafen konnte

''Ich würde mir wünschen dass ich fliegen konnte..
Weg aus dem Grau - nach Inseln in Träume
Wo Felder von Blumen, tanzend im Wind,
Sorgen dass unsere Welt an Farbe gewinnt
Wo Vögel und Fische gemeinsam bestehen
Weil die Wellen in Wolken übergehen..
Und Strassen gemacht in seltener Pracht -
Gedanken von Glück bei einander gebracht -
Geschichte erzählen von Wonder und Licht
Und keinerlei Schatten vergiften mein'n Sicht,
das ganz ohne Zweifel und verkörperten Dicht
Meiner Welt der wahrsten Liebe entspricht...''

# 15 A Restless Heart

Whispers inside of me, in front and beside of me

Tugging at my sleeves, tugging at my hair

Clouds hanging over me, darkness controlling me

Tell me what is wrong, tell me if it’s fair

Nightmares are haunting me, echoes still taunting me

Accompany my pain for their selfish gain

Daybreak; it hides from me to places I can’t see

Leaving me to drown in my black domain...

What I'd wish...

I wish I could believe

that everyone would be able to conceive

The basic idea of

...love...

# 14 Once in October

Once in October you emptied your heart

Your voice was cold, like the wind

And your loving eyes turned dark

I never knew that you could change

But in truth, you're newly born

Because the one I loved before would never leave me; torn


And so I watch the leaves drift by

Upon an autumn breeze

My knees are weak and my tears flow freely

But never shall you witness my grief

I hold it safe inside my heart

Where it will surely burn

My lips are dry, my fingers numb

...awaiting your return


Yes, once in October there was this crazy dream

Of two souls that walked the same road

The course of shared ideals

I hadn't thought that it would be

Simply - just - and merely me

Who dreamt those dreams of make-belief

Our fairy tale is incomplete


But wings you gave me

Hope restored

After time passed I wanted more

And that was the moment

I started to fall

Helplessly wounded

I crawled to your door

My heart as just an ornament

Your eyes the sweetest of torment


It was once in October that I felt my wings come loose

And soon the ground started to shake

Humbled and hurt yet knowing I'd learned

The second I had heard my heart break...

# 13 Winter Guest

If I am fire
You are ice
At least that’s what you say

You live in darkness
I in light
But I’ll ask the stars to stay

If I am weak
And you are strong
According to your heart

Then who is right?
And who is wrong?
If behind the curtains of the dawn
My dreams and I won’t part?

# 12 The Waiting Game

I stand still

I stand alone

With shadows lurking in my eyes

The tears I've shed, filled with regret

Won't bring comfort to this unholy night


I breathe deep

I breathe carefully

I'm sure that if I'd forget my manners - my heart couldn't take it

And I wish not to break it

So, I wait... I wait

Although I hate

This nothingness

This lack of fate

I have to own

I have to try

But now.. I'm just waiting

For my time...

# 11 Love's Restoration

I have wiped the slate clean, my love

And by doing this I have set you free

No longer shall I pain myself watching this dull fire

Or drain myself in every inch of you

No, I too shall run free

And think of our love as a distant memory

The present chaos has consumed too much of my soul

Well you know, well you know

The tickling flames have made their way across my skin

While your voice was ringing in my ears

And although I’ve tried to hide from it

Tried to hide from you – I am sure you will find me here;

At the birth of my damnation

But let it be clear that I want no part of this

This is a fool’s game, and a fool I am not

So many splendid colours I once found in your eyes

But now even the blacks and the whites have gone lost

I shall not wait for love’s restoration

I have waited too long

By heaven, it hurts my heart more loving you in uncertainty

Than dying surely every night

Allow me to take my love and make it undone

And end cruellest torture before it’s begun

I need all words to carry meaning

But if you won’t dare to walk the landscape of your dreams

At that; I will pretend we never met!

# 8 Echoes of an Unborn Day...

Before thee I stood so many a times

But never quite like this

My hands are bare, they carry naught

And with my skill I hope that I might win

No words of clever rebellion will be uttered here tonight

For many came, witnessed by both you and I

But never did they cherish you and never did they shine

I’ve come to reimburse my heart

Although most of the pain I’ve caused myself

I owe it to myself to be finally fair

Even when my body is uneasily kept still, trembling in your presence

And my thoughts will flutter away from crowds into the echo of an unborn day

Courage has risen inside of me and filled my soul with pride

That at least the promise I could make myself would never tire

To open up my eyes to love

And let her take me to the sky

To try to exhaust my 'charcoal' life

To smile when she walks by...

# 9 Chaotic Colours

Chaotic Colours

I am a friend of reason
I am no foe of rhyme
I don’t believe it’s treason
To change water into wine

I am a part of glory
I am no piece of pain
I don’t think it’s dishonest
To stick to the refrain

I hold on to the hope that
For my sake you will try
To make a genuine effort
Without first asking why
I am this kind of person
I have my own control
It’s what’s got me addicted
Yes, perfection is my goal

I am a child of laughter
I am no dread of sense
I don’t believe it’s foolish
To train your self defence

I am a true romantic
I am no grieving face
I don’t think it’s a wonder
That the thief will lose the chase

I hold on the dream that
For my sake you will give
The fullest admiration
To the world in which I live
I have this kind of spirit
I cannot make it rest
I hope your grades stay stable
That you may pass this test

I am a newborn story
That has already grown an end
Because I cannot act out
Feelings I never planned

I am a fan of morning
So, sleep is just a waste
I live with my eyes open
And enjoy every taste

So, I hold on to the hope that
You will be the one to see
The good beside the bad things
And all the possibilities
My wings are now unfolded
Will you let me take you home?
Because I need you to see me
And all the colours that I own…

# 8 Miss Beautiful

Your crimson lips
Soft fingertips
Your mascara eyes
Your sweet goodbyes

Your rosy cheeks
Butterfly weeks
You’re here, you’re there
Flying everywhere

Your auburn hair
And grace so fair
Your spicy tongue
Your craving for fun

Your mysterious ways
And childish plays
Your iron will
Your wish to thrill

Your piercing stare
The manner you dare
Your assured walk
Your whispered talk

Remind me so
Of how I hoped
When I was young
I’d one day become
Just as coloured
And as tall as you
And with a secret
Smile
As you watched me
Watch you
From the hidden corner
Of your eye

Your lashes, long
And calming song
Your warming touch
Your passionate love

Your dreaming days
And shine that stays
Your endless hope
How you provoke

Your crimson lips
Soft fingertips
Your mascara eyes
Your sweet goodbyes

Your piercing stare
The manner you dare
Your assured walk
Your whispered talk

Makes you how I see you now
A queen for whom all others bow
Miss elegance and wonderful
And above all, miss beautiful...

# 7 Unfinished - A Bad Dream

A dreamer in the day to where her nightmares escaped

I lost myself on the streets of forgiveness

All pieces of my hope had been carefully choked

I saw their shadow in between the darkness

A long lost time ago when this heart was still whole

I stumbled upon the smile of a stranger

The heaven that I gave would so soon be betrayed

But I wasn’t able to taste the present danger

# 6 Our Place in the World

The world is a complicated place. Not just because a lot of things like opinions, gossip, success, friendship and love can’t be controlled. The heart of the problem lies in the fact that none of us want to give in without a fight; we want things to go our way, we want to win every battle. And so it seems, instead of recognizing defeat and taking a few steps back, we are constantly fighting ourselves and our polished egos.

And we never stop to ask ourselves just why we think we deserve certain rewards or relations. Because to us questioning that seems like a ridiculous thing to do. We are ‘me’, ‘I’. And ‘I’ deserve that. This is ‘my’ life, I am the main person in this world, the lead star of the film, the one it’s all about. It’s my life and I want it to go exactly as I would like.

So, if ‘I’ don’t get that promotion at work it’s not fair, if the one ‘I’ love doesn’t love me back, he or she is a fool and – if ‘I’ fail to make ‘my’ dreams come true…it’s not ‘my’ fault.. is it? Because then there must be something wrong with the world.

This ‘I’ – me, can say that out of experience. I have dealt with frail hopes that were shattered, unrealized dreams, criticism on projects I had put all my energy in, certain heartache, unforeseen pain, loss and upcoming doubts. At times, I felt as if I was losing my mind. And that just because things weren’t going as planned. My life was drifting and shaping itself, putting me in the passenger’s seat.

Those are the times you are left to your devices, left to wonder about what, where, why and when. When did you life fall apart? Why? Did you do something wrong? Did you say something – did you forget to say something? And if so, was that silence the first sound of your emotional heart-attack?

In that corner, in that sad in-between place of ill decision-making, grey colours and guilt-fed whispers, you sink deep into thoughts. Reduced to a passenger along for the ride, you are left to do the only thing you can do in a moment like that; watch. Observe. Because surely, as they say, we can learn from our mistakes. If we pay attention, track the crumbs, take notes – we might find our way out of this black hole. If we closely watch those around us, read their lips, cling to their embraces and follow the light in their eyes, we might even find the answers we were looking for. Even when, most of the times, you are afraid to ask them aloud.

Life is a process of learning. And it never ends. Our parents teach us the basics and then the teachers do the rest. Our minds are filled with ideas, theories and knowledge. So we might use it to get ahead in life. But once we’ve left the educational premises behind, though our minds are full, our hearts are empty. For what have we accomplished yet? What experience did we acquire? Wrongfully, we think this is the time we stop learning. We think we know it all, we’re young, we’re powerful and we’re going to conquer the world. But where did that thought come from? Did our teachers teach us nothing?

Youth is both a blessing and a curse. Without a compass, without goals you float into a peaceful cloud of senselessness. And it’s only when you hit a wall that you realize; maybe I’m not as invincible as I thought. Maybe I can lose, maybe I can hurt… Maybe a lot! – A fearsome thought.

But maybe that is the reason we lose – we hurt– we are disappointed and… we panic; to fear. Because fear has the power to wake you up. To pull you out of that black hole. It makes you see, fully, the process and consequences of your ideals and actions. It makes us grow as a person. Because if we would never lose, hurt, disappoint or panic; we would never learn. If we would always win and get what we want, without even the slightest effort; we would not value what we have.

And when it comes to our leading role, how could it be that everyone could get what he or she wanted? At the same time? It would simply not be possible. And that’s a fact. A piece of information we simply have to settle with.

We want, we strive, we fight. But we have to enter the fight knowing; we can’t win them all...

# 5 - My Heart; under construction

The waves of love are unsteady and cool

They’ve often hit me to the ground...

The flames of passion turn intellectuals into fools

And there’s no warning screaming loud...

Our hearts are hopeless when it comes to love

But in truth; were are to blame

For it is us, the fools, who fail to run

When we have tracked down certain shame

The sky of pain is endless and growing

Beyond the hopes we try to keep..

And even the answers to all of our questions

Are the wrongs ones that make us weep...

They do no know what we are thinking of

And to be honest, why should they care?

For sometimes we let ourselves fall completely

When a lack of love fills up the air...

#4 - A Letter to my dearest Friend

Dear friend,

I’ve heard that you feel afraid of the world

And as for me, I think that shouldn’t be

Sure, there are many places

In the shadows of their faces

And sometimes that’s all you see

But there’s a line inside my mind

You’re welcome to cross

For you have fallen into darkness

And now you’ve become lost

Your wings cling to your body

As you look up to the sky

The voices make you tremble

As you whisper them goodbye

So, I’ll keep a place beside me

Where you don’t have to speak a word

And we will be disturbed by no man

As I rid you of your hurt

I’ve heard you feel alone in this world

And I think that there’s just no need

Sure, there are many demons

Hidden right here between us

And they can make it hard to breathe

But there’s a word held in my hand

One I can make you understand

And no one needs a single day

To come to terms with what I’ll say

Because your heart will surely see

That even darkness can be free

For light is stronger if the flame

Is carried in an honest name

So, my friend do not despair

The smell of hope is in the air

Just shout out when you’ve had enough

And I’ll call the troops all armed

With love…

Some poetry; oh yes, love is inspiring - even when it hurts

#1 The Taste of Love

If only I could heal your self spoken pain

Like it was dew, wipe away the demons

That plagued your thoughts today.

But you stand there in silence

And will allow no talk

So, mystified I await your eyes

To invite a flow of words to walk

If only you’d let me in on the gilded secret’s cause

As if by lightning, I’d strike it down

Just to put the world on pause

I can enjoy no taste of sugar

I cannot be amused by song

For, honestly those pleasures mean nothing

When your kind smile is gone.

#2 'Killing Me Not So Softly'

Please take a bullet and a gun

Or a knife to be easier done

Instead of killing me with you whispered words

And the I love you’s I never heard

Please feed me poison or pure hate

Or take a rope to strangle fate

Instead of watching me as I struggle to smile

To ask me then if I’m hurting inside

Please take my flame and make it cry

Extinguish life and all the light

Instead of loving me in your special way

I wait and wait and wait in vain

#3 A Lover's Tragedy

I wandered through her house

Through her many halls of gold

I passed so many windows

And who watched me no one knows

But then I heard a whisper

It could have reached me in my dreams

My eyes turned wide, my heart run wild

Yet my feet would not leave

There she was in all her glory

A heavy frame around her face

Her eyes shone cold, her lips were dry

Unlike her shimmering mask of lace

And although right there beside her

Was a count that held her hand

That clench became a shackle soon

Clipping the wings of all her plans

Her eyes had been so young then

Yet her heart could not be fooled

For she needed no salvation

Or a polished hero overdue

His name may have brought comfort

And his smile may have been meant

When he was gone the echoes sung

And she cried inside her head

Then in time she did discover

That his touch could reach her heart

Although it was hard to learn to trust

She knew now she could start

A different frame presented me

Her and him with both hands held

Yet in this piece there was no play

For her eyes portrayed how she felt

But with the rain once lighting came

To strike her at her core

It had no need to silence its greed

Yet her hope was not restored

And so her years were spent in tears

As she kept asking why

For with the rain just blood remained

His final word had been ‘’goodbye’’

Welcome to Forget Me Not

Welcome my friends to the lands of forget me not, where I shall post all that fascinates my mind...

I'll make my first real post soon. But I want it to be good. So; wait and see.

Blessed be,
Emerald